How to Sparkle

  I had achieved something major in my life... And thus wanted to go to another part of the country... So on the crest of a wave I felt that had done great in Brighton... I had made friends and felt at ease. I had to overcome a few work related issues and one was personal anxiety... not to do with being Tammy but the aftermath of my split with my ex-fiancee. I was getting awkward moments with her family sending messages blaming me for the split. Accusations of this and that. I had spoken to my ex and we had a decent conversation and patched things up. Meanwhile since the previous October I had joined a Zumba class and every Monday I attended it with a group of absolute diamonds... ladies and a couple of guys. They didn't know I was Tammy as I was in my normal persona. Without bragging too much we had 3 major attendees from television in our class, a breakfast TV host, a former Kids TV presenter and a comedian... All of whom have become friends of mine through the class. The class h...

  Going it alone... But someone had my back So I was on the train heading to the south coast on my own, the last time I was here I wasn't my best but my previously mentioned friend that I mentioned before had saved my life that time... I won't dwell on that... I arrived at Brighton and felt good, it was a cold afternoon but this place felt right. So I made my way to the Holiday Inn on the seafront. I checked in and sorted my room out, I requested that the reception were to call me Tammy if they saw me. They agreed and I was cool with it. I messaged my mentor and told her my plans for the time away, she told me to be myself and keep in touch with her. If I was in danger I was head to the hotel and safety. I got dressed and made my way towards a bar at the top end of town, Bar Revenge, a well known LGBTQ bar that looked good. I went in and ordered a drink and sat down. I felt ok but nervy. That eased after a while. I decided to go out for a bit as it was quiet. I grabbed some foo...

The dust settles from Glasgow with a realisation of something else So I came home from Glasgow feeling accomplished and happy that I had been in public as Tammy. I had a feeling I'd not felt before. But I couldn't put my finger on it. I went to see my friends in Reading for a day of fun and catching up. My friends had supported me for a while and I felt I could talk to them. A brief pause and I individually told them....  Something along the lines of... 'I'm bisexual... And it's ok'. The reaction I got was something to savour, no judgement or awkward silences... Just a I'm proud of you or we are here for you. I knew that was a big step to take and realising it was europhic. I still had one person I had to tell, a lady who is not only a close friend but a kind of therapist who encourages and helps me feel at ease. I messaged her on my bus to Reading station. She was so happy for me and said to me she will be a support to me and that I can message her anytime....

The night was the best I'd had in a while So there I was on a coach heading to Glasgow to meet my mentor... A lady known as Miss Treat who was going to look after me and support me... I arrived early morning at Buchanan Street Bus Station and headed to my hotel for the evening. Having checked in I then headed to Glasgow Airport to do my passion of aircraft photography. After a final cup of tea I headed outside and there was my mentor and her husband. I got the biggest hug I had ever had and I was very emotional. We drove to her house passing some lovely scenery and had lunch together. We made arrangements for the next day which was to be something very special. That evening I was taken back to my hotel in the city. Settled down for the night and prepared for the next day. I woke early and got ready. Checked out and headed to the Airport again. Once again Miss Treat met me from there and we drove towards her house again. A nice dinner was had and then I got showered and ready. I dec...

So I had settled into my new job and my times had lessened where I could be the girl I had chosen to be. My relationship with my then partner was getting rocky and we decided to part... I fell in love again and started to settle down... But deep within someone was bursting to come out in the open... I joined twitter and made connections with like minded people, forged friendships and decided to take a bold step, I became friends with a very supportive lady who actually saved me on 2 occasions later in that year. The bold step was probably my best decisions. I got to meet people and feel at ease. One day in July 2019 was world sunk as my relationship came tumbling down. I knew this was a sign that this was to be my opening. In the mean time I started to socialise with my saviour once a month and felt a kind of happiness not felt before. I met 2 other ladies who would also become very close friends too. I had a conversation with a lovely lady from Glasgow, who was so warming to me and I ...

  Not yet ready for the world but baby steps taken... So here I was finding my style and my persona. Around this time I had upgraded to a camera phone and started to take pics of myself... Still not ready to show my face in public but the idea is coming to the fore. I started to go out independently and explore places.. regular visits to Europe opened up possible things in the future for me... I also had joined a few forums to discuss with others in a similar part of their lives. Unbeknown to me alot of those I would be become lifelong friends with on social media. My wardrobe was increasing too... Various fashion styles were there... In the background Sandy was there but she was evolving too.  I started to see a lady at the time who was older than me but still very fun. She helped me with advice and I found someone who loved me... It helped too that we had similar style cues... But then at almost 30 I was crushed when I was dismissed from my job through no fault of my own.. i...

  Was this a dream or was this a reality... The year 2000 had dawned and I still had these visions of how I wanted to be... being in retail I saw people day in day out and people watching inspired me to look at styles and fashion in general. One late shift at work a vision appeared at my counter... she had a very shiny puffa jacket on that glistened in the fluorescent bathed light... what was this infront of me... I was in awe of this and she knew she was like an angel... she had blonde hair and an aura around her... I found out it was a North Face Nuptse she had on and it cost an absolute bomb, I was determined to get something similar as this was the trend and practical was at the forefront... I luckily managed to get a similar shiny puffa from C&A... if you remember them on the high street they were a very interesting store... anyway I digress... I had a puffa and it was nice to wear... teamed up with the shiny leggings and a t-shirt I looked the part... I still didn't have ...

I had no idea I would be devoted to you...... I was born in Barnet in North London on a hot August day in 1980... I did most things a kid did, played in the park, ran around chasing my friends... You know what I mean... But let's fast forward a bit... In my teens I discovered that a part of me liked shiny leggings after watching Grease one day... I couldn't ask my mum to buy me a pair so I waited a few years... Years rolled on and I finally bought those coveted shiny black leggings from a shop in Wembley, Middx... I was in heaven... I saved up and bought more items when I could to try to complete the Sandy outfit. It was almost there... One day by luck my neighbour was clearing her wardrobe and she had a lovely leather coat that was gonna be thrown out... I asked her if I could have it... She said sure you can... I still have it today... I started work full time and every once in a while I bought something to add to the wardrobe... I still didn't have a name but it was buil...