How to Sparkle

The importance of being honest and knowing that support is there. So it was my return to work and I had a meeting to discuss my absence, procedure requires this but I had something I wanted to end the meeting on that was more positive. The outcome was decided, I had my job still and that was good. I had my chance to be more open now. Now as part of my confidence boosting I had contributed to a number of books that I had been asked to join by a couple of twitter followers. I had a hard copy of one of them, and with my kindle I had the others.  In the days leading up to my meeting I had spoken to my line manager and said about the books and she wanted to see them. This was my chance to reveal my alter ego unbeknown to her. So sat in the room with my 2 line managers I took a deep breath and said 'I have an alter ego, and she is helping me overcome some of my anxiety', the reaction was lovely, a kind of 'Ok, that's really something, and wow you look amazing'. We spoke a...

Ou t and about in my home city again is a great opportunity So after all the trials and tribulations I decided I needed a few days away, I did these as a fact finder for the business I was part of and also for my own good, it worked out really good for me as I got dressed up and felt really good, it was bravery and normality together. I stayed in the previous location again and made some plans as to what I wanted to do this time. One thing I really wanted to do was walk along the Thames and get some pics as I went, these are at the bottom of this entry. I set out Friday afternoon and made my way to the westend and started to location hunt for a photoshoot, came back with a few ideas and other possibilities. Saturday morning I did the big one and made my way towards Westminster and began my walk towards Tower Bridge, again this was fact finding and landmarks, I found it very easy going, and no problems when I was walking along, I had compliments about my outfit from passers-by too. Cros...

Asking yourself if you are OK is important, your mental health is a must... So I touched on this in the last post, but I will be open right now. Since 2010 I have suffered from mild depression and anxiety, 2 things that I have battled with constantly, without my family and friends support I would of given up, the important thing is to ask yourself 'Am I OK', I have reached out to people at times when I have needed it, reassurance and confidence is a must too. If you see or hear someone close to you is struggling, try to be there for them, listen to them, help them, look out for them. It will make a difference to them and will mean a huge amount. Continuing with where I left off, I didn't feel that great when I got home, and my mother wasn't feeling to good either. One morning I woke up with no taste sensation and I went on the NHS app to put my symptoms in... You guessed it 10 days isolated and get a test asap, I got one booked that morning and headed to location. Did t...

My abilities to be creative were to be showcased.. So a conversation with a Instagram follower led to me being asked to be involved in his business venture, I was tasked with running the twitter account and liasing with potential collaborators and clients. It was a fashion company, making custom outfits and standard lines. I would a model aswell as liasion. To seal the deal so to speak I headed to Southampton for the day to meet up with the guy and talk terms. I was up for the challenge and wanted to make the most of this opportunity. It was decided I would be a part owner of the business and the contract was signed. We made a few tentitive plans as to what we could do. It all was very positive. Potential was there aswell. Come New Years Eve I was to do a live on Instagram with my new business partner to unveil me as part of the team, this was gonna be the first time they had heard me having only seen pics before. I booked a room in London for the night and that was where I was going t...

Yo u stick by your friends through the good and bad... Don't let outside influences get to you... So the dust was still settling after my 40th birthday celebrations and things were going great... but then something changed. One of my long-term friends that had supported me through my split and was a huge supporter of me cut me off and made excuses. She had told me her partner was not very understanding about LGBTQ and told her not to make contact with me or anyone like that. I was distraught and felt dumped. I turned to the one person that I knew would be nonjudgmental to me. I messaged my friend of over 12 years and said I had something to tell her, we were always upfront with each other and had been there through thick and thin. I called her and told her about what had happened and then told her about Tammy, no hesitation she said that was a beautiful thing and I'm sticking by you no matter what happens. We must of been on the phone 2 hours or so, but it was meant to be. We a...

I turned 40 and a milestone... Time to celebrate So I fast forward to August, I had some leave booked so it was only right to celebrate in the best way possible. I booked a coach down to Brighton for a couple of nights. I knew that not everything would be open but I wanted to make the most of the time I had. I boarded my coach and headed south. when I arrived it was a beautiful sunny day. Perfect I thought. I headed to my hotel on the front like before, checked in and settled. I got ready to head out to Bar Revenge, wanted to relive the memories of last time. Things had changed but the atmosphere was the same. 3 girls invited me to join them and I accepted the offer, we drank shots and I told them about me, they were so friendly and sweet. We swapped Instagrams and to this day we are still in touch. I said my farewells and headed to my hotel. The next morning was a glorious day and I decided I was going to Shoreham Airport first of all and then meet up with my friend Ellie from last ti...

On the other side of the  world something was happening that was to change our daily lives. So what happened, do we understand it completely... My mental health was suffering deeply and I had to make my mum my priority for looking after. One by one places shut down, shops, pubs, restaurants and limits were noticeable. I did however manage to get to a concert with the amazing singer called Georgia, to quote her 'Lets dance as if it's our last for a while'. What I did observe was facemasks on the public and social distancing was starting to appear. So in my mind I knew to be Tammy I had to find a way to do so. And then a spark ignited in my mind, showcase my wardrobe on my social media for all to see. It was a dream come true. It felt amazing. I couldn't go out, but I had times to dress up, which was great. I opened up to more friends about Tammy as it was right, I lost friends but the ones that stood by me are the best ever. Lockdown became a word that would be became r...

Not afraid to be me... Feeling motivated So I was heading Northwest on a coach towards Blackpool, I wasn't daunted but I knew I would be on uncharted territory... I had been there before but this felt different for the right reasons. I checked into my hotel at the top end of town and settled in. It was a blustery day so I had to be prepared for that. I dressed accordingly and made my way out to the tram stop. Bought my ticket and the conductor said thank you darling.... great start... By the time I got to Fleetwood it was lashing down with rain so I decided to head back... my ticket was valid a week so I wasn't wasting it. Anyway I got back and decided to stay in and have a drink in the bar. Next morning was better and I headed into town and specifically the Sealife Centre and Madame Tussauds. I loved it, looking at the fantastic creatures and didn't feel out of place. The girl at the ticket desk was very friendly. I then went to Madame Tussauds and posed with some of the w...